


Shoulder to Cry on

by Chloe_22



Category: My Time At Portia (Video Game)
Genre: Abandonment, Childhood Trauma, F/M, Friendship, Love, Mental Health Issues, Slow Build, Trust
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-06-09
Updated: 2019-06-17
Packaged: 2020-04-23 15:24:07
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,051
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19153741
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Chloe_22/pseuds/Chloe_22
Summary: After Pa leaves again, Bella struggles to come to terms with her feelings and everything she went through the first time comes back to haunt her and all she has is that damn robot pig.





	1. Chapter 1

Another letter.

Again. 

Does he just struggle to talk to my face? 

Thinks a letter is a good way to say goodbye?

A coward. 

That's what he is. There is no other word for a man like that. 

How dare he walk into my life after all this time and just leave again and all I'm left with is... a flying pig. A slightly damaged - ok not slightly, flying it into a side of the cliff out of anger wasn't the best idea. Dragging it home with a rope at 11pm hadnt been how I wanted to spend my evening. It was Wednesday, it was girls night with Emily and Sonia; Phyliss has recently joined us too. I should be there, with a smile on my face just for a little while but I'm like my father. 

A coward.

Avoiding everyone because it was easier than saying 'Yes, I'm ok he's gone - I'm used to it by now'. I'd laugh a little, take a drink and switch the conversation to Princess Pumpkin, Emily's fast growing fruit for the Autumn competition. Sam would tell us about her latest adventure in the Marsh and Phyllis would smile and offer Sam medical advice on her new cuts she had earned that day.

Lost in my thoughts, I trip over a small rock and fall to my knees as it starts to rain. I look to the sky and cry out with anguish that my night has gotten worse. A hole in my jeans, my palms red and blistering from the rope, my clothes becoming sodden and the blastered pig stood over me, almost mockingly if a metal animal can do that. And that's all it took. 

I just sit there. For a little while. Tears falling, mixing with the rain as it pours heavier, no energy to move. Rope still gripped tightly in my hands. My reddish brown hair falling over my face. I had been running on adrenaline since I had read that letter. On auto-pilot. 

Broken. 

I feel an arm wrap around my waist and tug me up to lean into their body, my head lolls against their shoulder as more hands take the rope from mine. There's hushed voices, the person holding me speaks, I feel the vibration against my cheek but in my mind, the voices seem so far away, so distant yet so near but my mind is closing off, completely fatigued. My body sags as I struggle to hold myself up and suddenly I'm floating. 

I hear the pig being pulled through wet mud, slopping near me. I feel like a small child again being carried by my Aunt Kendra in the first few weeks I was staying with her. Fragile so easily scared, those memories that were tucked away in a box in the back of my head locked behind a door barricaded, burst open and flood my mind. Images flashing in front of my eyes. Strong smells hitting my nose like it was right in front of me. Fear. The first yell. The first threat. The first guilt trip. It wasn't my fault. The rain picks up and I feel something being laid over my upper body. The arms tightening around me and pulling me closer to their chest trying to shield my shivering body from the rain. My body feels heavier, the last bit of energy that was keeping me awake leaves me. Thunder hits other head. Then everything goes black.

"Bella?!"

Broken. 

A coward.

Just like Pa.


	2. Chapter 2

Phyllis POV (Third Person)

\---------

“How is she?”

“She’s not great. She doesn’t move except to go to the bathroom and then she goes right back into bed. I can get her to drink, she will only eat a little, she hasn’t washed. I don’t think she is actually sleeping until exhaustion takes over for 8 hours and then the process starts all over again.”

“And him?”

“Hasn’t left her side.” Phyllis sighs, it has been a long 10 days. Since the Civil Corps found Bella outside the town walls, Arlo had stayed with Bella and Phyllis, he kept saying it was to look after them both, he said his mum had mental health problems and that sometimes she would lash out and he wanted to stay in case he needed to restrain her but Phyllis knew differently, she could see it in his eyes every time he looked at Bella. Sam had told her on their walk home from girls night that Arlo had a crush on the young builder but Phyllis could see it ran deeper than a simple fancy, Arlo just couldn’t see it himself. 

Sam huffed, startling Phyllis and drawing her attention. Sam was exhausted, the bags under her eyes, the cup of coffee in her hand, the slowness in her step it all gave it away. Her and Remy had been sharing the burden of extra patrols and it was taking its toll. Sam was no longer strutting around the Plaza with a swing in her step and was now trailing her feet behind her, her hat was askew, blonde locks falling out of place. The life of a Civil Corps member was really starting to show and the town it was protecting were noticing too. After the big reveal of Django being the Storm Knight, he had taken it upon himself to do the patrols around Peach Plaza, close enough to stay with his restaurant. 

“Go home, Sam. Have some dinner, and get some sleep please. Nurse’s orders.” Phyllis smiles at her friend and pulls her in for a hug. Between the long hours and watching one of your closest friends become a shell of her former self, Phyllis knew exactly how Sam was feeling. “I will send Arlo out to take over. Right, Arlo?” She had sensed him come up behind them and turned to face him with a stern look. “Your team needs you now, it’s time for you to be a leader again. Bella is fine here with me and you can come check in but you can’t stay here anymore, I am officially kicking you out.” Phyllis cups Arlo’s cheek and gives him a pat with a cheeky smile and got one in return. Arlo stands to attention and mock salutes Phyllis, takes Sam by the arm and helps her to the door. 

“Shout me if you need me, please.” Arlo says before leaving and quietly shutting the door behind him. Phyllis sighs again for what seems like the hundredth time that day and moves to the chair positioned by Bella’s bed. Leaning back, Phyllis recalls how Arlo, Sam and Remy had burst into the clinic as her and Xu where finishing up the day before heading home. She had never seen the trio so frantic. Arlo had moved Bella straight to a bed and all but demanded Xu start helping her while Remy tried to explain what had happened between breaths with Sam trying to fill in the gaps. They had found Bella, she wasn’t responding to them and she was freezing cold and when they had checked her eyes, they looked empty and unseeing. Arlo had hovered over Xu while he was working to the point Sam and Remy had to drag him out to give him space to work and since then Phyllis had been beating herself up over not seeing the signs earlier that day. 

She had been researching mental health most of her nursing career, she had spent most of that day with Bella and the girls and she didn’t notice the slight changes in Bella’s mood. The flinches when anyone mentioned her Pa. The tense smile when they asked if they could ride the pig too, the picking at her food at the Round Table or that even her aim was off when they were all shooting balloons. So many signs and she didn’t notice. Emily had told her that it wasn’t her fault, it wasn’t anyones fault but there was still a small amount of guilt that settled at the back of her mind. 

She had tried to atone for it by cleaning Bella’s home, attempted to finish the commissions she had left so she there was nothing for her to worry about it when she finally came round but she ended doing more harm than good, with plasters covering the tips of her fingers. Surprisingly, it had been Higgins that showed up to help. The news of Bella’s situation had spread fast - small town and all - and he had seen Phyllis trying her hardest to build a bookshelf for Mei at Portia Times. He had silently come over and taken the wood from her hands, looked at her apologetically and started to take apart the pitiful attempt at a bookshelf. That moment Phyllis had realised how much of an impact Bella had had in her time here, only 2 years in and it seems like a light had gone out without Bella walking around speaking to everyone and it was clear even Higgins missed their rivalry. Django has been bringing over new dishes for her to try giving to Bella. Ack was helping maintain the animals. Aadit and Dana were still bringing her supplies, even putting them away in the factory so the resource box didn’t get full. Xu would bring in her mail every morning when he came to do Bella’s check ups. Scraps and Pinky were with Sophie and Emily, the former was enjoying the company though McDonald was trying to make Scraps into a sheep dog. Even Mali had stopped by before returning to Lucien. It had been a long 10 days for everyone involved but Portia was a tight knit community - it was just one of the reasons Phyllis loved it here - everyone was doing there best to make Bella’s return stress free. 

A deep breath followed quickly by a broken breath, brings Phyllis back to reality and she looks over to see Bella gasping for air. It was happening again. Phyllis quickly but gently moves to sit on the bed and grabs one of Bella’s hands as Bella frantically scans the room searching for whatever had caused the latest attack. Her eyes were wide and unfocused with panic, tears slowly streaming down her face as her fingers grip tightly around Phyllis' and the other hand clawing at her chest.

“I’m here, Bella. Listen to my voice, focus on me and only me. Take a deep breath for me and hold it for 5 seconds and exhale, keep repeating that. Like I always tell you. I am right here Bella, I promise.” Bella looks at her and Phyllis’ heart breaks. The look of terror on the face before her breaks her composure enough to cause her to sob too, that guilt floods back in and she pulls Bella into her arms. 

“I’m s-s-so-so sorr-y,” was all she could get out, the tangle of limbs tighten as the two girls cling to each other, crying into each others shoulder. Phyllis wasn’t sure how long they sat like that, the only tell was the ache in her back from sitting awkwardly, Bella’s breathing slowly returning to normal, the tears drying on her cheeks but she stayed there in the warm arms of her friend, the only noise - the hiccups coming from Phyllis. 

A sniffle.

A tummy rumble. 

A small giggle.

“Is that Django’s bbq ribs?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm excited to get this chapter out that I wrote it at work haha
> 
> This might be a bit of a dark story in some places and some things may seem OOC for some characters but this is how I see things happening.


	3. Chapter 3

Plumped pillows. 

Honey candles. 

Moon glow through the window. 

It would have been a normal day if it wasn’t for the group of people stood in my living room. They weren’t aware I was awake, they kept speaking in hushed tones. I could see Phyllis and Dr Xu chatting amongst themselves over a clipboard from my position in bed slightly blocked by the divider I bought from Carol’s a few weeks prior. I could hear Gale talking with Arlo and Sam with a flurry of red hair that could only be Ginger, rushing around with a tray of cups. I tried hard to block them out thinking back to the night before of Phyllis telling me everything that had happened while I was out of it. Hearing how everyone had banded together to help me was something I wasn’t used too. It was overwhelming, suffocated-ly so. 

All these people in my small home. 

The hushed tones that weren’t so quiet to my over sensitives senses. 

The smell of bitter coffee hitting my nostrils at full force. 

The fluffy blanket I had brought with me from Barnarock no longer felt familiar, no longer brought the comfort I so desperately needed. 

I stumbled out of bed on my jelly legs using the wall as a guide as I attempt to move quickly to the living room. A loud thud makes me cry out from behind the divider. A female voice harshly scolds someone and everyone runs into my even smaller bedroom. 

The pounding in my head just gets worse. 

I can’t focus on the individual voices. I can’t tell which noise goes with which person. 

The basin tap dripping in my little bathroom tips me over the edge. So I screamed. It was the only thing I could think of to get everything to stop. The silence was bliss to my poor ears. The room stopped spinning. My eyes were focusing again. 

It was Arlo that approached first. The first person I met after Presley, who had taken a chance on me time and time again with commissions, the ruins, the wasteland. He trusted me and I trusted him. I didn’t do that often and he didn’t know how special something like that was for me to give but I did it so easily, I was safe. The blue flying pigs scarf was familiar, I’d buried my head in it every time he gave me a hug. It felt safe. 

He dropped to his knees in front of me, gingerly reaching out a hand to brush my wild hair from my face. He was warm compared to my cold clammy skin. His blue eyes the brightest thing in the room, they kept me grounded. I wanted to reach up and move the red locks falling over his face and crawl into his lap and cry, sleep and just stay for a little while. I would have, if it wasn’t for everyone staring. Arlo didn’t do PDA. Peach forbid someone saw the Captain being nice to a friend. Gale cleared his throat but Ginger put a hand on his arm to stop him from speaking. 

“Bella, would you like us to go? Would that help right now and get you back into a more comfortable state?” Ginger ever the sweetie, lowers herself beside Arlo and takes my hand squeezing tightly. 

“I’m sorry,” I couldn’t get anything else out. I wanted to say more, I wanted to explain why I was like this but I couldn’t. They wouldn’t understand, nobody would. Not now, it has been too long, it was too late to talk about it - any of it. Aunt Kendra would be so mad if I said anything. For now, Pa leaving will have to do as the reason, I will be able to get better on my own. I did it once I can do it again. 

“I appreciate you being here, all of you.” Smiling at them all, “I understand you’re trying to help and I hope soon we can come to some sort of way to get me back into society,” Small giggle, smile and nod - ok, they’re lapping it up, keeping going, “But for now, I need to be alone to get myself back into tip top shape.” Another smile, squeeze Ginger’s hand. Done. Dr Xu is nodding and Gale is helping Ginger off the floor. 

“Of course, we should have thought of that ourselves. No doubt you’d like to wash up and feel more human again.” Gale starts pushing everyone to the door. Sam stays back with Arlo, who hasn’t moved from his spot in front of me. 

“I will head back and update Remy. I will do my last patrol and then head home. And you,” Turning to point at me with a big smile, trying her best to keep the tears at bay. “I am so glad you have come back to us, Emily wanted to be here but she thought it might be too many people. Turns out she was right, she did try to warn us all. I am sure she will come by soon with some pie for you.” She wraps me in a big hug, her hat askew. She pulls away quickly and hurries out the room, she was crying I had felt it against my cheek, she was a big softie at heart. 

“I am going to run to Django’s and get us some spaghetti, ok? I won’t be long.” Arlo kisses my forehead and follows Sam out. 

I was finally alone. 

I struggle to my feet and move towards the mirror in the corner of the room. My feet dragging themselves across the carpet, they feel like lead to my brains unable to lift them in my weak state. I stand before the mirror and gasp at the sight. My once chestnut brown hair was now a greasy dull mud brown, in complete disarray. No longer the vibrant blue ocean eyes, staring back at me was cold blue, large bags under them. Lips dry and cracked, skin hollow and cheek bones more prominent than before. 

I fell to the floor in front of the mirror unable to take my eyes away from I had become. This wasn’t Bella. This wasn’t the same girl who had fought the Rogue Knight, she had gone. The sobs wreck through my entire body, burying my head into my hands, my fingers gripping the roots of my hair tempted to just pull and continue to scream. 

That was how he found me again, sat on the floor tears on my face. Collapsing down beside me and pulling me into his arms and rocking gently. He didn’t need to say anything, the hug said it all. My nose turns into his blue scarf, my hands gripping his jacket till my knuckles turned white. 

That flying pig scarf. That was safe. 

That was what brought me comfort. 

That was home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wrote this once and then when I went to check a spelling on a word, the page refreshed and I was like no not doing it again! haha. I hope you enjoy this chapter again it was written at work

**Author's Note:**

> My first MTAP fic! I hope you enjoy the first part :)


End file.
